Want to join the Club?

Carrying

Samantha Josephs

Debut Novel
Horror
LGBTQIA+
Movie/TV Coming

At a glance

🍽
Unusual appetites
🌹
Trans rep
🧑
Martha Stewart who?
🍗
Hide your raw chicken

She’s serving. She’s eating. She’s...Carrying.

In this electrifying horror debut that’s equal parts funny and harrowing, a stealth trans woman desperate to maintain her picture-perfect life discovers that she’s seemingly—impossibly—pregnant.

‍

Everything Martha’s wanted, she’s made for herself.

‍

Meet Martha: perfect wife, perfect stepmother, perfect woman. She’s got an adoring husband who wants more kids with her, a loving stepdaughter who looks up to her, and a body to die for. She’s an absolute pro: Salon-quality blowouts at home? Done. Perfectly plated meals on the table every day? Effortless. Meticulously faked miscarriages so her husband won’t suspect the truth? Just hand over the Oscar now.

Martha is trans, so stealth even her family has no idea. She carved the woman she is out of the marble of a boy, and she’ll do whatever it takes to protect what she’s built. When a mysterious chronic illness and its debilitating symptoms threaten to upend her existence, she starts experimental treatments and gives in to her surprising, unsettling cravings. She’s even more shocked to discover that she’s undeniably, impossibly pregnant.

‍

With her body changing rapidly outside of her control and her choices dwindling, Martha struggles to maintain the life she’s fought so hard to live while preparing for the motherhood she never thought she’d have.

Don’t just take
our word for it

“Not sure I’ve ever experienced a wider range of emotions during a single read. Carrying is a totally original (stomach-turning, laugh-out-loud, horrifying, heartwarming) work of art.”

- Marisa Kashino, USA Today bestselling author of Best Offer Wins

“[An] exhilarating debut . . . The tension and suspense are there from the start . . . Joseph evokes a frenzied feeling as obstacle upon obstacle arise in Martha’s path and she must handle them all in secret, and often alone, to maintain the perfect life that she has always dreamt of. This page-turning exploration of bodily autonomy—or the lack thereof—astounds.”

- Publishers Weekly (starred) 🌟

“Provocative and sharply original, Carrying is as unsettling as it is addictive. A body horror that pulls you in, disturbs you quietly, and doesn’t let you go. Samantha Josephs has a bold, singular voice.”

- Raphael Montes, #1 internationally bestselling author of The Secret Dinner

Get a taste

“Can I get two pounds of bone-in, skin-on chicken breast?” The butcher wipes his hands on a bloodstained apron, a smile peeking out underneath his mustache. “Coming right up, beautiful.”

‍

Martha’s a vision in a light blue wrap dress and just the right amount of makeup for a happily married thirty-nine-year-old in Brentwood on this August Sunday. She carries herself like a ’50s housewife, except for the Apple Watch and the tasteful hint of Botox.

‍

He returns with the chicken in butcher paper and hands it to her.

‍

“Could I also get a quarter pound of beef liver?”

‍

“You got it.”

‍

“And do you have pig’s blood?”

‍

“We might have some frozen in the back. What are you making? Blood sausage?”

‍

A smile creeps across her face, revealing her perfectly white Tic Tac teeth. “An old family recipe.”

Want to join the Club?

Book notes

  • 🙋‍♀️ Why we chose

    You know how The Rocky Horror Picture Show is secretly a horror movie for homophobes? Where the just-engaged happy hetero couple stumbles upon a haunted house that seduces them into (the horror!) a bisexual cross-dressing alien madness? 

    In the same way, Carrying is a horror story for transphobes, where the fantasy of a perfect straight-girl wife—think green juice and Pilates, the best boob job money can buy, and to top it all off, a soon-to-be mother—is infiltrated by the reality of trans-ness. “A trans woman, pregnant?” thinks the transphobe, “The horror!” Well, it just so happens that we at Aardvark love giving nightmares to transphobes. 

    Not to mention, we love ourselves some hot girl lit. The crazy downward spiral, the stakes raised so damn high that we’re certain this time, finally, things have been pushed the farthest they can go…only to have our jaws drop so far they’re practically unhinged from our faces. Because reader, things can always be pushed farther.

  • ⚠️ Content warnings

    This book deals heavily with pregnancy. Mention of sexual assault, transphobia.