The Housewife

“They got married very fast. Very fast, if you know what I mean.”

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I’m about to bring out a tray of whipped goat cheese tartlets with caramelized onion and thyme when I hear Meredith talk about me. I know it’s me they’re discussing because Roy and I did indeed get married very fast. Not even three months after we first met, I stood at the altar in my exquisite Elie Saab wedding dress, a thick, gold wedding band encrusted with pavé diamonds sliding onto my finger.

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I retreat behind the archway leading to the living room and listen.

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“She’s very pretty,” Eileen says.

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“And very young,” Meredith says. “Twenty years younger than him, I’d say.”

“Typical,” Eileen mumbles.

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“Deborah was barely in her grave,” Barb says.

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“But why so soon?” Eileen asks.

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“She was pregnant, didn’t you know?” Meredith says.

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“Jodie was pregnant?” Eileen asks.

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“Yes!”

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“Right! Well, that explains a lot!” Barb laughs.

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“But she’s not pregnant now, is she?” Eileen says.

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“Apparently, she lost the baby,” Meredith says. Then, sotto voce, she adds, “They always do, don’t they? Her type? As soon as they’ve got the ring on that finger, that baby magically disappears down the toilet. And I don’t mind saying, thank God for that.”

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“You want me to take that, Mrs. Davies?” Marie says behind me, loud enough for the guests to hear. Marie is our housekeeper. I turn around and find her smirking at me. Not that I’m surprised since she’s always smirking at me. At first, I used to think it was a deformity, that maybe there was something wrong with her mouth, but then I’ve never seen her smirk at Roy.

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“No, thank you. I’ve got it,” I say, then walk through the arch with my tray and my head held high.

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I don’t usually mind what people say about me, but in this case, I do. These ladies — these harpies, as my mother would have called them — are my husband’s friends. I want to get to know them so I can ask them questions about my husband because, as Meredith rightly points out, we did get married very fast. I want to ask things like, What is Roy really like? Does he actually like offal? Because I made an offal dish once, and he didn’t eat much, even though he said he loved it. Any hidden personality quirks I should be aware of ? Have you ever seen him lose his temper? Because I’m yet to see that, but then, still waters run deep. Isn’t that what they say?